The Man's Box

A direct question to all those who identify with the pronoun ‘He’ all implications intended,

Are you a true man?

I’ll give you a minute to dwell on that. 

Time’s up!

What thoughts did this question invoke in you? 

Was your answer a resounding “NO” or an affirmative “YES’” 

How’d your heart take your answer?

My money’s on you answering “NO”. Yes, I said it. You want to know why? 

Simple, I know you, you probably think you haven’t started cashing out, you haven’t started your business, you’re still under daddy’s roof, your physique is puny, you're short, you're depressed or even worse, you cried a little last week.

Man, STOP!

You’re feeding into traumatic statistics, killing your person and caging yourself into an ugly box called the Man’s Box.

The Man’s Box Culture represents the norms which dictate how men should typically live, behave, think and express themselves. It is founded on harmful stereotypes, broken souls and masculine toxicity.

Here’s a little overview into this culture;

• A true man must be self-reliant, with a sick twist of course, he’s not allowed to request for help and is highly discouraged from sharing problems, succumbing to that just makes a man a weakling. 

• A true man is likened to a live wire, ready to spark, known for violence and aggressive behaviors - The louder he is, the better.

• A true man doesn’t cry, no matter what happens, he’s meant to be invulnerable to stressors and a huge suppressor of emotions, all that is for the women folk.

• A true man is pure muscle, rock hard abs, a sharp jawline, nothing less than 6ft tall, basically Wattpad alpha-male worthy.

Ending this toxic culture involves you acknowledging the harmful effects of these norms.

An overly self-reliant man faces loneliness, mental health challenges, psychological issues and constantly berates himself.

A violent man is likely to foster unhealthy relationships, increased crime tendencies and a lack of emotional intelligence.

A man who suppresses his emotions is likely to commit suicide when it all gets so tiring and overwhelming. 

A man who is so conscious of looking like a professional wrestler will have self esteem issues and might succumb to substance abuse.

In light of all this, is being a TRUE man really worth it?

How about trying to be a HAPPY man?

I speak of a man who expresses himself without fear of judgement, encourages help-seeking behavior and takes time to build his emotional intelligence,

I imagine a man who exudes positive masculinity with chivalry, empathy, cooperation and compassion.

My Happy man has a can-do spirit and when he fails, he’s not afraid to try again. He shines, he challenges toxic stereotypes and he creates safe spaces for all those around him. 

My Happy man can be YOU!

This week dedicated to Men’s Mental Health is the start to your self-acceptance journey. 

Dear men, it’s okay to be feeling, to not have it all perfect, to be emotional. 

You’re free to live, breathe as you personally dictate, forget about these backward norms.

On a final note, Don’t die in the Man’s Box, thrive in your own space.