NO GLOVE, NO LOVE
- Jojo talks med
- Oct 5
- 6 min read
Before latex and pharmacies, before safe sex talks, the art of protection looked….very different.
The condom, humble yet revolutionary, has journeyed from ancient sheaths to self-lubricating innovations.
Humans have always sourced for protection in one form or another and with this new post, I bring to you the crazy ways how.
Ancient Beginnings: Love & Linen
The use of condoms in ancient civilizations is highly debated by archaeologists and historians. Societies in ancient Egypt, Greece, Rome, China and Japan were known to have practiced a variety of birth control methods.
First, there were ideas of soaking the penis in onion juice or tar as an attempt to male controlled contraception. Then, the Egyptians and Greeks used loin coverings made of oiled silk paper which often consisted of just enough for the glans of penis (head) to prevent disease rather than pregnancy funnily. These loin cloths were worn by the rich during intercourse (Sorry for the poor).
There is even a really cool myth called the Legend of King Minos and his cursed semen. Minos was said to be cursed by Gods to produce semen to contain scorpions and serpents that killed his sexual partners, Crazy right? And to protect his sexual partners and wife he used a goat’s bladder as a means of protection.
Yes!
Animal bladders and intestines were another common means of protection worn by men in the ancient eras. Lambs and cattle weren’t just useful for meat, their innards were used to make protective glove like covering for men.
According to Wikipedia, in China, glans condoms may have been made of oiled silk paper, or of lamb intestines. In Japan, condoms called Kabuto-gata were made of tortoise shell or animal horns. In England, there is evidence that condoms made of animal organs were available in the time of Henry VIII (the mid-1500s).
Renaissance and Middle Ages: Fighting Syphilis one sheath at a time.
By the 1500s, the Europeans were battling a terrifying new enemy - now known as Syphilis. As Jared Diamond describes it, "when syphilis was first definitely recorded in Europe in 1495, its pustules often covered the body from the head to the knees, caused flesh to fall from people's faces, and led to death within a few months."
The physician Gabrielle Fallopeo - yes the guy fallopian tubes are named after, he recommended that the use of an invention of his which was Linen sheaths soaked in chemicals and herbal solutions, fitted to the glans of penis and neatly tied with a ribbon (that I hope was red for romance) as an effective means of protection against the disease. He even claimed he performed clinical trials on 1100 men and reported that none had contracted or suffered from the disease.
These condoms wannabes were washed and reused which makes modern day one time use sound quite luxurious in comparison.
Whilst this was quite an innovation, it met resistance from critics such as by Catholic theologian Leonardus Lessius who condemned them as immoral.
By this period, condoms made from bladder and intestines were already made industrially and sold commercially. Then Dutch traders introduced condoms made from fine leather to the streets of Japan and these leather condoms actually covered the entire penis, not just the glans. Talk about progress!
18th to early 19th Century: The Rubber Revolution
Fast forward to the 1800s, the condom market grew rapidly. 18th-century linen & animal based condoms were available in a variety of qualities and sizes and were sold at pubs, barbershops, chemist shops, open-air markets, and at the theatre throughout Europe and Russia.
Concerned about quality? Legends like Casanova himself tested the condoms for holes by blowing them up before use. Weird.
From the 1820s through the 1870s, popular women and men lecturers traveled around America teaching about physiology and sexual matters. Many of them sold birth control devices, including condoms, after their lectures. They were condemned by many moralists and medical professionals, including America's first female doctor Elizabeth Blackwell. Blackwell accused the lecturers of spreading doctrines of "abortion and prostitution”.
Then the capable Charles Goodyear discovered vulcanization, a process to make rubber more durable and flexible. By the late 1850s several major rubber companies were mass-producing, among other items, rubber condoms. The earliest rubber condoms covered only the glans of the penis; a doctor had to measure each man and order the correct size. Even with the medical fittings, however, glans condoms tended to fall off during use. Rubber manufacturers quickly discovered they could sell more devices by manufacturing full-length one-size-fits-all condoms to be sold in pharmacies. These were reusable and had a longer shelf life making them a more economical choice in the long term.
For the first time in History, protection was affordable and accessible but still it wasn’t exactly socially acceptable. Sex outside marriage was highly frowned upon and it was seen a taboo to buy and use condoms. Feminists were distrusting of the use of condoms seeing as it was controlled and decided on by the men alone. Contraceptives were illegal in 19th-century Italy and Germany, but condoms were allowed for disease prevention. Early condom ads were often disguised as gentlemen hygiene products. In late-19th-century England, condoms were known as "a little something for the weekend", very funny that.
The people wanted protection, they just couldn’t say it out loud.
1920s till Today: Latex, Love and Liberation.
In the 1920s, latex condoms hit the market.
Latex condoms required less labor to produce than cement-dipped rubber condoms, which had to be smoothed by rubbing and trimming and because it used water to suspend the rubber instead of gasoline and benzene, it eliminated the fire hazard previously associated with all rubber condom factories. They were also thinner, smoother and longer lasting perfect for customers.
The German military promoted the use of these condoms amongst its soldiers during the Second World War. The soldiers were handed out condoms with the rations to prevent sexually transmitted infections. The British & American soldiers though did not and by the end of World War II, their military had recorded almost 400,000 cases of syphilis and gonorrhea, a historic high right there. The Germans championed condom sale and export in this era.
Then came the sexual revolution of the 60s and 70s. Condoms started to get promotion from educational programs and world governments. They became a symbol of sexual freedom and responsibility.
By the 1980s, the slogan “No glove, No love” and “Don’t forget to put it on before you put it in” were trendy mottos then in the cause for contraception and protection against diseases in sex education especially in the event of AIDS crisis.
Condoms became a rallying symbol for awareness and survival.
The Future of Safe Sex
Today, condoms come in every imaginable way. We have latex free condoms, condoms for vegans, flavored condoms, fun glow in the dark condoms, you name it.
More interestingly, SMART CONDOMS, yes, really!
Imagine your fitness tracker but this time for sex, that’s the idea behind smart condoms, they are designed to give data driven insights into sexual performance and health. It can track the duration of the intercourse, calories burned, skin temperature, and amazingly detect presence of STIs even weird stuff like positions and speed…
A beautiful representation of how sexual health technology is making waves in wellness. But really, would you want that kind of information on storage??
Let me know!
Currently, researchers are experimenting on Graphene based condoms which could be thinner than ever but way stronger. The goal is simple a safe, pleasurable future for humans.
From goat bladder to graphene, the tale of condoms represents the product of centuries of curiosity and invention driven by love, lust and fear. A mirror of how humanity evolved from taboo to transparency, from silence to safety and stands as proof that science and love can actually share the same bed, haha.
So remember guys, No Glove, No love and stay safe everyone!
Let me know what you thought about this dive in the comments.
Have a good one,
Jojo.
Nothing wey the poor never see 😂
But I like the idea of a smart condom, though.
Eye opening blog😂😂
😂😂 This blog is honestly the funniest I’ve read in a while — from beginning to end, it had me laughing. But at the same time, I have to give it to you; the way you made it so entertaining and still informative is amazing 👏. Normally, I’d just scroll past something like this, but you kept me reading. Although, I’m still stuck on that ‘Fallopian guy’ part — how did he test it on 1,100 men and people still got syphilis? He must explain that one to me oo 😅